I know, given all of the other shit happening in the world right now, it probably doesn’t warrant a mention, but I just love the fact that, in an attempt to connect with the average Utah voter, Mitt Romney, one of the richest men in America, and the former head of the evil vulture capital entity Bain Capital, went on the record yesterday about his disdain for steak and the passion for inexpensive, processed meat products that drives him. It’s almost as funny as when Mercedes Schlapp tweeted from her limousine a few days ago about the threat posed by liberal “elites”.
"I enjoy the most popular processed meat products of the working class" is the best campaign slogan in the history of American politics.
— Mark Maynard (@MarkAMaynard) May 4, 2018
I wonder if Romney really thinks that regular people consciously choose hot dogs over steaks, like it’s a choice that’s not primarily dictated by finances… Maybe I’m projecting, but I can’t imagine anyone reading this interview with Romeny and thinking, “Now there’s a guy like me, a guy who would spit out a mouthful of steak if he caught of whiff of a gas station hot dog in the distance.”
My favorite part is how, after saying that he loves hotdogs the best, he jumps in to add the qualifier – “My second favorite meat is hamburger” – like it had just occurred to him that he’d better not completely commit to the hot dog, just in case. I can almost hear his inner dialogue… “Favorite meat? Say hotdog. OK, I’m going to say hotdog. ‘Hotdog.’ Fuck, I think I’ve read that they don’t sell hotdogs at McDonalds. Fuck. OK, I should say that I also like fried ground beef patties. Should I say that I love them just the same as hot dogs, or should I rank them? What would a regular American do? Fuck. And what are they called? They’re round. I can picture them. HAMBURGER! OK, I’ve got this. ‘My second favorite meat is hamburger.’ Oh, and then I should say I like steak too, as there are photos of me eating steak, but I’ll say I don’t like it as much. OK, I’m crushing this… Hopefully they’ll also as me about cheese, so I can mention how much better Velveeta is than Roquefort.”
